


Demonic Bedpost

by Batfink



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Bickering, False Accusations, Frottage, I'm Bad At Titles, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Making an Effort (Good Omens), Negotiations, Oblivious Aziraphale (Good Omens), Short, Short One Shot, Smut, Softie Crowley (Good Omens), Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-13 02:04:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20166349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batfink/pseuds/Batfink
Summary: “Oh!”  Aziraphale nodded.  "So, you're annoyed because I refuse to be another notch on your demonic bedpost?”  He folded his arms defensively.  “Because I'm preventing you from getting another commendation?”Crowley gaped at him.  “Is that what you think?”





	Demonic Bedpost

“Your side weaponised sex.” Aziraphale huffed indignantly.

“Yeah, well. Your side weaponised the withholding of sex.” Crowley snapped. “And I'm almost positive you personally invented blue balls.”

“Excuse me!” Aziraphale exclaimed, outraged.

“I said...” Crowley was cut off by a dismissive wave of Aziraphale's hand.

“I heard what you said. What exactly do you mean by that comment?” Aziraphale glared at the demon.

“You know what I mean, Angel.” Crowley growled. “I've been trying to get in your bloody pants from day one.”

“Oh!” Aziraphale nodded. “So, you're annoyed because I refuse to be another notch on your demonic bedpost?” He folded his arms defensively. “Because I'm preventing you from getting another commendation?”

Crowley gaped at him. “Is that what you think?”

“Of course it's what I think. You're a demon Crowley. Am I supposed to think you what, want to make love to me?” He raised an eyebrow. “Out of the goodness of your heart?”

Crowley opened his mouth to snap back but closed it with a hiss. Like it or not, Aziraphale was right. There really was no way he could have been sure what Crowley's plans were. It might hurt, but he was a demon and he could have been just trying to tempt his Angel. Which, technically, he had been, but only for his own physical benefit, never for anyone else's gain.

“Angel.” He said softly. “You believe that I'm no longer working for hell?”

“Of course.” Aziraphale nodded.

“So, who do you think it would benefit other than us, if we bump uglies now?” Crowley smiled.

Aziraphale opened his mouth, then paused before finally speaking. “And what about the other thing?”

“There's no notches on my bedpost, Angel. A demon's job is temptation only. I never actually needed to go through with the sex part.” Crowley shrugged.

“You really expect me to believe that?” Aziraphale replied, obviously disbelieving.

Crowley sighed. “I can't prove it to you, Angel.”

“Well then. What on earth would you want with me?” Aziraphale frowned. “You expect me to believe you turned down super models and film stars, Lords and Ladies, Royalty and Dictators because all along what you really wanted was plain, old, soft, me?”

Crowley gave an angry hiss. Damn those Archangels. “Yes, Angel. I want you. Only you, always you. I will straight up murder anyone who has ever made you feel unattractive, Archangel or not.” He huffed. “You are beautiful and perfect and too good for not only this world, but all of heaven too. God really outdid herself when she made you.” Aziraphale was blushing so hard now his face was almost the colour of Crowley's hair. “How can I prove it to you?” Crowley demanded.

Shocked, Aziraphale looked Crowley dead in his golden eyes. “Kiss me, please.” He whispered and Crowley was off the sofa in an instant grabbing Aziraphale by the lapels of his coat, hauling him out of his armchair and rather unsteadily to his feet. He then crashed their lips together.

It was like a gallon of paraffin had just been thrown onto the tiny flame Aziraphale had always carried for the demon. Heat exploded in his chest and he found himself suddenly, without conscious intent possessing of an effort that was enthusiastically making itself known in his trousers.

Crowley pulled their bodies closer as his tongue darted into his Angel's mouth claiming everything it touched. Aziraphale's hands landed heavy on Crowley's hips and pulled, bringing their groins together. Letting him feel the effort that Crowley also was making.

They moved together after that. Hips rolling against each other until panicked, Aziraphale tore their lips apart. “Wait!” He gasped and Crowley froze, concerned golden eyes staring into lust blown blue. “I've spent six thousand years resisting you, Crowley. If we keep this up, it's all going to be over in about six minutes.”

Crowley laughed, relief washing over him as he pulled his Angel closer again. “Six minutes might be an exaggeration, Angel. Pretty sure I can be done in two.”

He moved to kiss Aziraphale again, but the Angel dodged. “Are you sure you want our first time to be like this?”

“Angel, I'm about to burst whether you help or not. This isn't sex, this is just taking the edge off. I promise we'll do it properly, just...” He pressed his lips briefly to his Angel's. “Help me out here, please?”

Aziraphale wiggled against him and Crowley groaned. “Well. I suppose you're right.” He moved his hands until they were firmly clamped to Crowley's ass and wiggled again. “You'll make it up to me though?”

“Of course.” Crowley stammered out. “Anything you like. Just as soon as we're finished here.” He ground against his Angel's groin and this time they both moaned.

It didn't take much after that before they were both at the edge. Too many centuries of pretending not to have feelings for each other. Too many centuries of wanting each other had them finally coming together. It was almost more of a relief than a pleasure.

They stood, panting unnecessarily in each other's arms for a moment before finally, Aziraphale dragged his eyes up to meet Crowley's. “Bed then?”

Crowley gave an exaggerated yawn. “Yeah, a nap sounds lovely right about now.” He tried to hide a devilish smile behind another yawn but Aziraphale just swatted at his behind.

“My dear boy.” He stared down the demon. “You can sleep all you want...” A devilish grin of his own appeared. “When I, am finished with you.”

Crowley's eyes widened in surprise and a laugh burst forth. “Oh no!” He exclaimed in mock horror. “I've unleashed a monster.”

Aziraphale leaned in close and nipped at Crowley's earlobe. “Just you wait.”

Crowley snapped his fingers and suddenly they were standing in Aziraphale's bedroom. “Patience is a virtue and I don't have any of those.” He grinned at his Angel's startled expression.

“I can see I'm going to have a lot to teach you.” Aziraphale threatened.

Crowley grinned bigger. “Teach away, but do it naked!”

Aziraphale rolled his eyes, but reached for the buttons on his waistcoat.


End file.
